I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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