were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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