I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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