Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
