Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
