I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
