lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
