apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
