so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
