No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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