Swine flu. Run for my life!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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