im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
