This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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