i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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