So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
