i permit you to call me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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