I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
