I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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