I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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