Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
