We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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