you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
