her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
