I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
