I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
