I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize