Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
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remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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