there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
