called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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