Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
