She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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