I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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