At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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