Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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