I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
