Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
