I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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