It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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