We're like a lot better than the average bears
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
