Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
