Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
