her vagine was all disorganized.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
