So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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