I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
