shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
