Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
