I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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