I checked into jail on foursquare
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize