so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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