i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize