Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
