dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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