your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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