Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
