I want to stick my p in your. b.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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