Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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