a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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