AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
